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184 of 185 found the following review helpful:
the best book I've found so far on the subjectSep 07, 2002
By christinemm - The Thinking Mother
I like the gentle nature of this story: a conversation between a mother and her daughter. The illustrations are very nicely done although they are not as detailed or done in color as on the cover (just so you know what to expect). All the important issues are discussed in a non-frightening yet serious manner and without providing too much detail about what can happen during a sexual abuse encounter. My goal is to educate my male children about prevention of sexual abuse without enlightening them with details about what actually can and does happen during a sexual abuse encounter; there is an element of innocence I wish to protect at their young ages of two and five. This is the sequence of the content of this story:
Privacy is defined and several examples are given, and private body parts are described as those covered by a bathing suit. The body parts for both girls and boys are named here using the proper terminology for both male and female genitals and the term "bottom" for the buttocks and anal area. The girl states she already knows that no one can touch her in any way she doesn't like, whether it involves her private parts or any other part of her body, such as not wanting to sit on her uncle's lap. Examples of touching that are enjoyed are given such as cuddling with a dog and dancing with Dad. Tickling is described as fun but that sometimes it can go too far and no longer be fun. The girl is encouraged to say "no" to anyone at any time if she doesn't want them touching her (in sexual or non-sexual ways without using the term "sexual"). The mother explains that it is the feelings of the girl that are most important, not the person who she is asking to stop or saying no to, because the girl worried that if she said no she would hurt the feelings of the other person. The mother warns the girl not to allow anyone to touch her private parts or take photos of them, and she should not touch the private parts of another person. The offending person is said to possibly be a stranger or someone she knows such as a friend or relative. The girl is told to shout "no" and to run the other way, then to tell the parent or caregiver or teacher what happened. The only thing that I think would make this a more perfect book would be if the parent were talking to a brother and sister at the same time and if the example of touching that the child didn't like was not the stereotypical and common example of adult male with young girl. I'd prefer more examples to illustrate that a boy can be abused as well as a girl. I am amazed that children's books about prevention of sexual abuse never give the example that a boy can be a victim, or that both males and females can be an abuser. Lastly, the mother warns against older children inappropriately touching her and I think it should simply say "other children" as abuse can happen with both younger and same-aged peers. Despite these few issues, this is the best book that I have found to read aloud to my children and I do highly recommend it. Regarding my complaints, I realize that I can address these issues in conversations with my boys.
198 of 203 found the following review helpful:
 Mommy, I remembered that bookAug 23, 2000
Teach your children well. This book saved my eight-year old daughter from further assault. A couple years years ago I bought this book for a friend and just decided to by one for our family. My daughter was six at the time. Recently we moved and the company-hired workers arrived. That afternoon as I was watching my children play together, I thought how cute they are - precious six-year old brother and eight-year old daughter side-by-side. I ran upstairs to the kitchen although the door was open between us and 6 other people were within earshot including their father and and an on-site manager. My daughter came upstairs and told me that a worker put his hands in her pants. He began to lead her to a closed area. She lied to him; got away from him; and came to me. "Mommy, I remembered what that book, "My Body Is Private" said. I remembered that you told me anything inside my underwear is private. Teach your chldren well. Buying this non-threatening book with a happy ending saved my daughter from ... who knows. THANK YOU Linda Walvoord Girard. Although my daughter was tricked and hurt within seconds in her own home, you have saved a child. Just as you teach a child to walk safely across the street without instilling fear of streets or cars, you can keep your child safe without instilling fear. My daughter was never afraid until she needed to be -- AND SHE ACTED. No secrets, no further abuse, no threats........ she saved herself through the knowledge she gathered through our reading this book together. I am forever grateful to the author.
54 of 54 found the following review helpful:
The Best of its Kind I've Read To-Date!Feb 11, 2003
I ordered 5 sexual abuse prevention books. Among them, this was my favorite. It 1st introduces the topics of privacy, personal space, and saying "no," before delving into more serious topics. Children are most often victimized by a family member, neighbor, or family friend and the book addresses this fact by simply stating that these people in addition to strangers are not allowed to pull your pants down, take nude photos,etc. These scenarios are very real and children need to learn what exactly they're supposed to object to. Other books of the same topic were too general and in essence equate to the familiar theme of "never talk to strangers" without going into more depth. I also think this book is a good length and ends on a positive note. The illustrations are black/white, but the text and drawings definitely make up for this. Finally, I recommend it for ages 3-9.
44 of 45 found the following review helpful:
sweet bookAug 07, 2003
I bought three books of this kind. This is my childrens favorite. I as an child abuse survivor myself find this book to be the best of the three. This book is about giving the child a sense of ownership over his/her body. An entitlement to say no. it is written from the childs POV which comes accross very well to my children. This is a gentle book with a supportive mother figure. I realize that it may be uncommom or unrealistic that one should have such an in tune and supportive mother and that there may be other flaws. Yet it is gentle and the child finds success in standing up for herself. It is still my favorite. I like the way it couches the responsibility to say no on the child but that the child has back up or confidence with the mothers support. The book begins with small things like personal belongings and knocking. This book has a senitive approach and a nice pace. It gets the information accross without threatening a small childs mind.
51 of 54 found the following review helpful:
A Truly Stellar Work!Mar 24, 2005
By BeatleBangs1964
This is a book I wish I had when I was a child. The mother and child featured in this story are beautifully illustrated and I like the intelligent conversations they have about improper touching, whether or not it is sexual.
The book respects readers' intelligence by using the proper terminology for genitalia and the generic term "bottom" to mean the buttocks. I like that. Too many works are weakened by silly euphemistic or babyish names for the anatomy that do nobody any real service. This book is a good teaching tool and an excellent forum for discussion of a serious topic. It is one that all ages would find beneficial.
Another reviewer made the good point that boys also can be sexually abused and this is never addressed in this book. I agree that this already excellent work would have been even more effective had the discussion included a brother as part of the discussion. While it is only natural to want to preserve a child's innocence, it is still very vital to empower children with information about what constitutes desired (non-sexual) and "good" touches and what doesn't. This in turn will help families build a more safety-savvy world.
This book does an excellent job of defining "privacy" replete with examples, e.g. "private parts" are the parts of one's body that is generally covered by their underwear or a bathing suit. The girl featured in the story declares that nobody can touch her private parts in ways she does not want and then goes on to describe other kinds of touching she doesn't like, such as sitting on her uncle's lap. On the flip side, "good touches" are highlighted, such as loving cuddles and dancing and an arm around the shoulder. The distinction could not be more clear and for that I salute this book!
Gray areas such as tickling are explored. Tickling can be fun, but it can also go too far where the one being tickled is not enjoying it. That is another example of when to demand that a certain "touch" or tactile activity be stopped. The children are well within their rights to do so at any time. Hugs and kisses are described as generally being welcome and acceptable, but children should not be forced to kiss or endure being kissed by someone who makes them feel uncomfortable.
The literary mother is very wise; she makes it plain to her daughter that it is the child's feelings that are paramount and not to worry about hurting somebody's feelings if she tells them not to touch her in ways she does not like. Genital touching including being forced to touch someone else's private parts is discussed; the girl is also told not to take photographs of somebody's private parts or willingly allow anyone to photograph hers. My favorite part was when the mother tells her daughter that the predator is NOT always a stranger and can be someone the child knows very well, including a relative. That point CANNOT be stressed enough. The child is told to try to escape as soon as possible and tell an adult she trusts what happened.
I agree with another reviewer that there is a dearth of stories like this for boys as boys also can be the recipients of sexual abuse. Since the girl has a brother, one wonders why he was not included in this safety talk since part of the discussion involved him. His safety has to be considered as well. Another good point is made by having the mother tell her daughter that it is never acceptable for "other children" as opposed to "older children" because that could be misleading. Those few things notwithstanding, I feel this is one of the best books I've encountered on this very serious subject.
I also recommend Sandy Kleven's "The Right Touch: A Read Aloud to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse," Cornelia Spelman's "Your Body Belongs to You" which is ideal for the preschool set on up and Peter Alsop's collection "Songs on Sex & Sexuality," most particularly the song, "My Body." All of these works address a very serious issue in gentle, direct and intelligence complimenting ways and are geared specifically for families.
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